Archive: Author: Holden Madagame

The German Stare

Posted on by Holden Madagame

It’s a thing. You might be laughing at me right now, but I swear to Zeus, The German Stare is a very real deal. Let me break it down for you. When you’re walking down the streets in Michigan (I will only speak for my own experiences), you sort of keep to yourself. If you see someone you know, sometimes it might take you a second to see that they’re even there, because you are probably in your own head. If you are observing your surroundings, you’re probably not looking too many people in the eyes, because they might think you’re starting, or that you want to bone. Unless you DO want to bone, but that’s a whole other story.

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In Berlin (I will still only speak from my own experiences), people will literally stare at you as you are walking down the street. You will be walking down the street, and meet eyes with more or less every other person you come across. At first you think, “Do I look American? Is there something on my face? Do they not approve of my alternative-lifestyle-haircut?” and many other absurdities.

No, you don’t look American. No, there is nothing on your face. And actually, they probably quite like your alternative-haircut.

Germans just happen to really like eye contact. I told this to my mother and she said, “You’re German you know!” Yes, if you know me, you know that I’m all about the eye contact thing. Take that and multiply the effect by like twenty, and you have your typical German.

Another example is every conversation I’ve ever had with my manager at the coffee shop:

Manager: So, uh, Heidi. How was your week?

 

Me: Oh, it was good! Very productive.

 

Manager: *nodding and German staring*

 

Me: Uh, um, I, um, went to the Sparkasse and got an account! And uh, I got my bike fixed because my chain snapped off after my last shift, so I couldn’t go to that coffee event after all because I had to take care of that.

 

Manager: Oh really? *German stare*

 

Me: Uh, yeah, um, and then I bought a pair of pants.

This is basically like every conversation I have with him, or the owner. They will be very polite, and ask questions about me, but after I give a full response, I get The Stare. It’s like I can’t ever tell them enough information. It’s like the words coming out of my mouth are perpetually inadequate, and I MUST KEEP TALKING.

To add to the anxiety I have associated with The Stare, I found out recently (or rather a friend brought to my attention) that Germans don’t really use their hands/bodies/arms to gesticulate. My roommate said it’s more common for Germans to put their hands in their lap and just talk. So not only do they stare, but they don’t give you any indication of what they’re saying with non-verbal language, which makes up 93% of human communication.

I’m exaggerating of course. It’s actually sort of refreshing, because I receive a lot of eye-contact when I speak, which is something I really value in a conversation partner. It’s also confusing, because my gaydar gets thrown way off when a beautiful German woman gives me a lot of eye-contact. That’s a topic for another post though. For now read this awesome post from Effing Dykes.

Registering at the Bürgeramt

Posted on by Holden Madagame

I don’t know if you have any experience in dealing with German bureaucracy, but I’m going to assume you don’t know anything, is that OK.

OK good.

Although I’m having a lot of fun in Berlin, there are a lot of official documents I need to have, and appointments I need to make, before I have an official visa to live here for an extended period of time. The first step of this journey though was making an appointment at the Bürgeramt to register my address. Unlike the United States, you need to inform the government of where you’re living at all times. If you change addresses, you must mail a form to the Bürgeramt, or make an appointment, within 2 weeks. Although this isn’t necessarily difficult, you need to have all of your documents ready to hand them: passport, birth certificate, Anmeldung (registration form), and a rental agreement.

This theoretically is straightforward, until you delve into personal accounts of someone’s trip to the Bürgeramt, and the various inevitable situations that make the process less straightforward. For example, I’m staying with a friend for free, which means I have no rental agreement. I didn’t have my birth certificate, nor a copy of it: schade. What I actually ended up bringing with me: passport, Anmeldung, letter signed by the people I’m living with confirming that I am indeed living with them. That’s it.

So naturally, I was slightly terrified that this wouldn’t be adequate and that I would be given a stern talking to auf Deutsch by a man in a finely pressed suit and impeccably groomed facial hair. Something like this finely crafted piece of digital art.

germanbureaucrat

I made sure to get on my train early, because it’s on the far south side of Berlin, and ended up arriving an hour ahead of my appointment. I tentatively walked up to the counter, made eye-contact with the woman behind the desk, and this conversation commenced (auf Deutsch, of course:

Me: I have an appointment. My name is Heidi.

 

Cute German Woman: Oh ok let’s see…what time is your appointment?

 

Me: I’m a little early…my appointment’s at 12:00pm?

 

Cute German Woman: *laughs* Ooooh you’re very early. Well, you don’t have to wait here dear, go get yourself a cup of tea. *motions drinking tea from a cup*

 

So I did. And when I came back my number was up and I went directly into “Platz 1” where a man very unlike my mental depiction of a German bureaucrat was sitting behind a desk listening to German pop songs on the radio. He had a black t-shirt on with what I’m quite sure was a metal band. He had shoulder-length white hair, a beard, glasses, and spoke very good English. I immediately felt overdressed for this appointment.  After speaking with him, giving him my documents, and holding my breath, he said, “Heidi! That’s a very German name!” And I said, yes. Yes it is.

I don’t know how, but I think that helped me get my address registered, because the appointment was over in 10 minutes.

Then I did what any mature, adult person would do after having a very mature, adult appointment, and played Pokémon for 30-minutes on the train ride back home.

Biking in Berlin

Posted on by Holden Madagame
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My little ole bike.

The most apparent thing about Berlin that I’ve seen so far is that EVERYONE bikes. Everyone and their literal mother and grandmother bikes. There are e-bikes and bikes lanes everywhere, and cars are totally used to seeing bikers on the road.  Folding electric bikes are becoming more and more popular for lots of reasons. From of their ability to be carried and transported easier than any other bike to their price range. Wisper are definitely one of the best Uk ebike brands.

It’s similar to people biking in Ann Arbor, but there are just WAY MORE, and they are less intense. In Ann Arbor, a lot of people who bike on the road (outside of just the downtown area) seem to be real bikers. You know the type: biking shorts, biking shirt, biking shoes, $3000 road bike, customized helmet, etc. Here, it’s far more normal.

Here are some major reasons biking in Berlin is awesome:

  1. Berlin is flat: Flat, flat, flat, flat. I can count the number of hills I’ve had to climb on my bike, and they weren’t even half as steep as the hills in Ann Arbor (lookin’ at you North Campus).
  2. Slower pace: Sometimes people go fast, but there’s absolutely no pressure, because, like I said, EVERYONE BIKES. Contributing to this also is…
  3. Plentiful bike lanes: I can cruise along at a cool pace, and cars will definitely not hit me, because BIKE LANES!
  4. Tons of bike racks: A lot of businesses have their own bike racks they pay for the city to establish for them, and of course the city bike racks are everywhere, just chillin’.

See what I mean? It’s like how biking in a city is supposed to be.

The one major flaw to biking in Berlin is that it’s rare to see a helmet. Not that it doesn’t happen, but I’d say about 10-15% of people wear helmets. From what it seems, it’s just accepted that that’s how it is, but here and there it can be controversial.

The major thing that seems to be convenient about biking, is that biking overall can be wayyyyyy faster than walking, and even faster than taking the S+U Bahn (Berlin’s Metro). If I’m willing to sweat a bit (or not, whatevs), it can take half the time to just cruise over to my destination.

Plus, I mean, biking looks really cool, doesn’t it? I mean, maybe that’s what I’m just telling myself…but I’m pretty sure I look way cooler with a bike.

Finding an Apartment in Berlin

Posted on by Holden Madagame

Since I’ve been in Berlin, I’ve had only a few major priorities:

  1. Get a German phone number
  2. Get to know the city
  3. Practice German
  4. Find an apartment

The other priorities have seemed to fall into place, but the process of finding an apartment in Berlin has been slightly more elusive to me. Coming from the Ann Arbor housing market, it’s been a bit of a shock. This is also based on my own personal experience in Ann Arbor, which may be skewed:

  • Freshman Year: Double dorm (it’s a given)
  • Sophomore Year: Single dorm (not a great decision, but whatever)
  • Junior Year: Had friends who invited me to a 5-person apartment on Frat-Row, so I went with it.
  • Senior Year: Duplex with 2 friends that I found and they agreed.
  • Post-Grad Year: Had friends invite me to a 4-person house on the quiet side of town.
  • BERLIN: E-mail millions of people who may or may not e-mail you back, call people in uncomfortable German and leave even more uncomfortable voice mails, visit places that aren’t actually what you want but you have to go because you have no other options at the moment, and then maybe get something that you want, after filling out a bunch of paperwork in a language you only partially know.

Yes, I’m complaining a lot. Like I said, this is just totally out of my previous experience. Luckily though, I’ve found a place to live! At the beginning of October I’m taking over a sublet in Neukölln from a friend of my wonderful, beautiful sister’s, and I get to take care of their mail and plants. It’s close to my school, close to both S+U Bahn, and above all totally my style.

Another interesting aspect of finding an apartment, is that the concept of a WG is much more loaded. It’s not just a means-to-an-end sort of situation. There’s a great article here about the “WG-Life.” Most fascinating to me is that there is a stigma against people who only room with other people for the economic advantage. In Ann Arbor, everyone’s just trying to get by, so it’s not a big deal. Perhaps the difference though, is that there isn’t much of an economic advantage necessarily. You can find a studio apartment for about the same price as a room in a WG, so it mostly depends on the company (or lack of company), you want to keep.

FASCINATING.

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Although I’ll be living by myself at first, I’m excited for the chance to experience The WG-Life at some point, and to live in various districts. In Berlin, there doesn’t seem to be quite as much cultural difference between districts as in, say, NYC or Chicago, but it’s clear simply by biking around that there is an ebb and flow for each part of town.

Kaffee Halt: No Fire, No Glory

Posted on by Holden Madagame

IMG_3820Being my second day in Berlin, I figured that the most logical next stop to getting acclimated to Berlin would be to weasel my way into the coffee scene.

After reading this beautifully compiled article on Stil in Berlin, I decided to find what was closest to the Mitte where I was staying. Godshot it was. After a sweet 7-minute bike ride with my friend, it turned out that the machine was being worked on, so we browsed the bookstore next to it, and ventured on to No Fire, No Glory.most logical next step to take would be scouting out the most excellent coffee shops in Berlin, one by one. This is also my attempt to weasel my way into some sort of barista gig.

30-minutes of confusion later, we arrived, and it was everything I was hoping for. Antique cash register, expansive patio seating, cushy couches inside with table service from the bar, and a variety of food and alcoholic drinks as well, many involving espresso. Although today was not the day, I will definitely be going back for a café corretto.

The first thing I really noticed about the shop, besides the decor, was the fact that the baristas weren’t actually German. At least one of them, if not more, were Australian. This was made very evident when I approached the counter:

Me: Kann ich hier bestellen?

Clearly Australian Barista: Yes, here’s fine.

Me: Was Kaffee haben sie für Aeropress?

Clearly Australian Barista: The Guatemalan we have is really well balanced for the Aeropress, but the Kenyan is not. I would also suggest the Ethiopian Yirgacheffe for the Aeropress.

Can I still use jetlag as an excuse?

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Anyway, my Yirgacheffe was like an orange flower blooming under the amber leaves in autumn: floral, subtle, but very vibrant. The color was a gorgeous mahogany, and the baristas took the time they needed to make it perfect, which is always worth the wait. After about an hour, I appropriately ordered a shot of espresso. They used an El Salvador single origin, and it was the perfect combination of sweet and strong.

IMG_3815After consuming my drinks I moseyed up to the counter and asked the baristas about their coffees, and about a Barista Camp I saw online, which apparently had already passed, to my despair. They seemed excited that I was excited, and that I had some barista experience, and were very open to explaining the various coffees to me.

As a first coffee experience in Berlin, I think I did pretty well. What do you think?

Arrival to Berlin

Posted on by Holden Madagame

Today was pretty interesting, I’ll give it that. In fact, today was two days, but when you’re traveling, any sense of time is thrown out the window. I woke up a bit earlier than my earlier, or my roommate’s alarm, and immediately showered, dressed, and started checking things off on the To-Do list I had compiled the night before. It looked something like this:

DON’T FORGET! 8/29/13

  • Chargers in living room
  • Laptop
  • DS
  • Phone charger
  • Charge phone!
  • Button up in living room
  • *Leave key @ Mighty Good
  • 1/4 lbs of Coffee @ MGC
  • Toothbrush

Priorities, amirite? I got coffee with a friend, and consequently got to say goodbye to a few more friends, and suddenly it was 11:45am and my mom was on her way to the house and my roommate and I were watching our last 15 minutes of ‘Pretty Little Liars’ while eating soup. Eventually, after another stop at Mighty Good, my mother and I arrived at the airport, and I was off. I had a few hours in DTW, so I decided to check my last Facebook and e-mail before the flight, and realized, “Hey, how long’s your layover in Frankfurt?” My gut instantly dropped, because I knew my layover was only 1-hour, and that it was not going to be enough time. I did this once before early in college, and it required literally sprinting across the airport, getting my baggage, checking in with the ticket counter again, and sprinting some more. I did not want this experience more than once in my lifetime, so when I arrived in Toronto, I told myself, I would arrange for a cool golf-cart to help me in the airport. TURNS OUT that instead of Air Canada, my flight was with Lufthansa, which meant that I had ample time, plus a cuuuushy flight.

My flight in a nutshell:

  • Starting 2 movies in German
  • Watching ‘La Boheme’ in Italian but with German subtitles
  • Falling asleep to ‘La Boheme in Italian but with German subtitles
  • Reading ‘American Gods’ by Neil Gaiman
  • Eating the “chicken” option for dinner
  • Being woken up by lights and “Breakfast is here!”

So all in all, the easiest flight I could have hoped for. Frankfurt was a breeze, and I got to my gate right on time. My only fear was being stopped by security and having my life be a scene from The L Word, but I was one of the lucky ones.

The rest of the trip was a breeze. Caught a bus, found my friend, and chilled out at her apartment. Immediately my friend said, “So what do you need to get settled,” which meant I had to think about what I actually needed to get settled. After himming and hawing a bit, she gave me some great advice: get a bike. Like, now.

So I did. And had a nice, short conversation with the men at the bike shop auf Deutsch. Also, on the way, I saw this guy:

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Video game museum? I think I moved to the right city.

The rest of my night basically amounted to me crashing into my friend’s bed and wondering exactly how sore I was going to be tomorrow. I’ll tell you about that later though.