My mother is coming in exactly one week. She’s bringing various warm clothes, things I’ve shipped to myself via Amazon, and most importantly, a suitcase full of peanut butter. I know, you’re jealous. I will be drowning in a sea of oily, peanutty goodness, slathering it across everything with as big an implement as I can find in my flat.
“What’s the hype?” you may ask. “Peanut butter is gross, and you’re acting very American.” I’ve heard this a few times from those who have only encountered European style peanut butter, or whatever the hell Biscoff is. It’s not peanut butter guys, don’t be fooled. Maybe it’s something you had to grow up with, like Marmite or Vegemite. I can deal with that, but let me convince you, and I promise that no food item will ever be taboo. In fact, maybe you just need me to explain how to use peanut butter. Maybe you’ve just never really known! Oh, you poor dear.
Simple PB Combinations
- Bread: Duh.
- Toast: Subtly different from just bread, because while warm, the toast melts the peanut butter slightly, allowing it to seep into the bread.
- Apples: If you haven’t done this go buy some goddamn apples right the fuck now.
- Bananas: This also works in smoothie form.
- Oreos: I dunno about you, but I learned this from ‘The Parent Trap’ with Lindsay Lohan.
- Carrots: Sounds weird, but it’s like magic, and really good for you.
- Celery: Ants on a log anyone?!
- Honey: Anything you can use peanut butter for, honey probably has a place.
So now that you’ve got the basics, and you’ve had a chance to practice, then we can move onto advanced applications of peanut butter.
Simple Recipes with PB
- Grilled PB Sandwich: Apply the warm toast rule, but add butter, and put in a goddamn pan. This can be combined with apples, bananas, or jam. Elvis used to do this, apparently. You’re welcome.
- PB & Onion Sandwich: NO DON’T LEAVE STAY WITH ME. OK, listen. I know it sounds crazy, but peanut butter and onion sandwiches are totally delicious. Just sauté the onions in a pan, and put on bread with the peanut butter. The nuttiness of the PB cancels out any acridness from the onions, and you’re left with a pleasant sweetness I SWEAR TO ZEUS. Try it.
- Curry: Peanut butter coconut curry is one of my favorite things to make. When you add curry (or sriracha), some of the spiciness is turned into sweetness by the nuttiness of the peanut butter (like the onions).
- Any noodle dish with peanut sauce: This is just how you make it, guys. Is this a surprise?
Sweet Things With PB
- Peanut Butter Cookies: Just fucking classic. Here’s a great vegan/gluten free recipe as well.
- No Bake Cookies: AKA Pastor Cookies AKA Candy Cookies AKA This has 1001 names. Best eaten straight out of the pan, or melty in a mug.
- Buckeyes: Delicious and easy to make and devour. Similar to Ohio State. Here is my obligatory Go Blue.
You should have been following along with every recipe so far, but maybe you just don’t have peanut butter in your house. Here’s a 5lb pail of peanut butter you can order on the internet. Technology is wonderful. If you’re still missing peanut butter, and you happen to have a fancy food processor, just make your own fucking peanut butter, just like at Whole Foods/The People’s Food Co-op.
Now run along and develop your little peanut butter habit! Make me proud!